"Hungry for Life" by Courtney King

Published on Topic: Guest Blog, Body Image

Courtney is a 28 year old Providence native who has always been an active writer in her private life. As a way to keep herself accountable to the goal of spending more time being happy, she began a blog, Borrow Season. Her blog follows Courtney as she continues on that journey. Courtney captures her evolving relationship with food in the following post, reposted with permission from her. Read the results of the SheByShe Body Image survey here.

These weekends are killing me! No matter how packed they are on Sundays I'm still willing to get up and do something. Three weeks later and I'm more excited as time goes on.What about you? Are weekends a time for refreshing and relaxing, however you feel is best for you? If not, please make sure you make some-you deserve it!

One of the things that has become a reoccurring theme in Borrow Season is food! Me and my people love a good meal, but not more than that we love to talk. I have had some amazing conversations in places, over food that I never would have thought. There is also a change in the dynamic I have with food lately.

For brunch today, I went to Bonefish Grille in Cranston, located in Chapel Hill. I've been there one other time a few weeks ago and HIGHLY recommend this place. The restaurant's whole set up makes you feel relaxed and there is a beautiful view that makes me feel calm in a way I don't often feel. It's the ability to see part of Cranston  from a different perspective that makes me feel relaxed, I think. Being able to see more of what's going on just reminds me how many little pieces go into big things. Sorry, there is just more than good food that draws me to a place lol. I have to "feel" good in a space!

Anyway, for twenty bucks I had an Endless Bubbles Brunch. So mimosas until I couldn't drink mimosas pretty much. Then an Oscar omelette (crab, asparagus, and cheese) and cheesy potatoes! My girl got their Bang Bang Shrimp Tacos, just delicious all together. I'm telling you if you want to go somewhere and enjoy the food AND be able to take your time you will love Bonefish Grille. Lol that sounded like a commercial, but it's true.

Me and my friend go to brunch irregularly, our schedule and our planning often end up not executed. We've gone to brunch twice in the last month so it's sort of like a big deal lol. So there's a little part of me that sings when it does happen and I LOVE talking to this woman!

Even though we don't see each other often I consider V a great friends. She's one of a few people that I've made friends with in my adult life and she just brings an honest take on things that I appreciate! I don't like sugar coating, I find it to be damaging and I don't have much of that worry with her. If I tell/ask her something she's going to tell me the real deal. You need to surround yourself with people like that! When you think of the people around you and can say "I honestly don't often know how Friend Whoever feels", one or both of you isn't being as honest and open as you could be! Work on that!

We talked for hours about everything. Work, family, money, you name it. Nothing is really off topic and I realized how much I need that. So many things in life call for certain parts of you and it's just freeing to have no rhyme or reason for some things lol.

As the meal ended and we said our goodbyes I thought about how much of my life involves food. I frequently thought I had a love- hate relationship with food. Now I know that I was seeking food as a nourishment for things I was missing elsewhere. Your heart doesn't have a favorite food, that emptiness can not be filled with cookies and snacks or whatever. You will always "be hungry" if you are not feeding yourself right!

For example, when I felt bad I would pretty much eat until I felt better. Seems like a simple solution, no? Eat five cookies, feel better you'd think, but NOPE. At last count I would say that I was nearing almost double what I should weigh for my height. That tells me that obviously I was not eating from a place of physical hunger! As I have learned to modify my moods and be happier I have put a real dent in my food issues. I struggle don't get me wrong, but the feelings about food are so different. I eat when I'm hungry and when I'm not hungry, I don't eat. When I feel really emotional I am careful to take stock before I spend money on food. I have also become comfortable with "leftovers"- everything does not have to be eaten in one sitting! These sound like simple things, but to go into a restaurant and want to enjoy the people more than the food isn't! That's huge!

Now that I know my happiness can come from so many other places I am not always looking for food to make me feel better. Reading, writing, being silly, talking, all those things have replaced a craving at some point in these few weeks. That's because my body was craving LIFE, not Ding-Dongs! And in noticing this I am much more aware of what I eat. I want to eat well and be full, not just snack all day. I want to have an experience at a meal, not just a glimpse of some wrappers. If your relationship with food is "different", I encourage you to look at some other parts of your life. I am not saying diet, cleanse,or really anything because I don't know what's right for you, shit I'm trying to figure that out for myself lol. I'm just simply saying that when you are honest about why you do things you can make better choices. GET HONEST!! Do not substitute food for other things you need, you will always be hungry!

Hope you had a great weekend! Enjoy the "turn down" for the work week and sleep well!  #Don't EatYourEmotions #NoSubstitutes #BorrowSeason