"Ten Social Skills for Unplugged Kids" by Suzanne Wind

Published on Topic: Guest Blog, Parenting

SheByShe is delighted to welcome  guest blogger Suzanne Wind. This is the third in a series  of  blog posts submitted by Suzanne who is also the author of  The SMART Playbook: Game-changing life skills for a modern world. Suzanne lives in Connecticut with her husband and three kids. Before kids, Suzanne was an international marketing executive in New York City. With a multi-cultural background, she was raised in more than six countries with four languages. Her career and living overseas taught her the importance of knowing and using the common language of manners and social skills to be your best. Today Suzanne is  a mom with a mission, inspired to communicate social skills in a modern world to a new generation. Connect with Suzanne on Twitter at @Suzanne_wind.

As a mother of three kids (ages 11, 10, and 4), I feel it is my duty to prepare my kids to take their place in society as informed, respectful citizens, proactive and successful employees, and someday wonderful significant others. In this fast-paced digital world, my job often feels overwhelming. I pick and choose my battles daily, in hopes that someone in society will appreciate my efforts to keep manners and social graces alive and well in a modern world. And most importantly, so that my kids will thrive and grow up with confidence, integrity, and empathy!

Today’s children average nine hours a day of engagement with media. It is a constant effort to engage kids in simple face-to-face conversations and good old-fashioned manners. Don’t let technology take over your child’s social skills and manners. These vital life skills are the foundation of kindness and respect and making others feel comfortable. As a busy parent, how do we take a digital break and get our children back to basics without overwhelming our time?

We all want our child to be THAT child – noticed for all the right reasons! The broken-record method is frustrating and not very effective. Benjamin Franklin wasn’t wrong when he said, “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”

Why not try a more engaging, game-based method to teach your kids relevant life skills? “Gamification” is the hot new trend. Inspire learning through play and doing. Don’t just tell your kids how to behave, challenge them and encourage them to practice! These simple social skill lessons will lead you and your child in a collaborative effort to bring back a little civility to a new generation.

Lesson #1:  Make a Great First Impression - Handle yourself with good manners and you will leave a good impression.  You only get one chance to make a great first impression so make it BIG! Your appearance, the way you present yourself and the way you communicate will contribute to the first impression. Game Challenge: Ask your child to think of five great plays to make a good first impression? Here’s your chance to role play different situations – meeting a new teacher, a new friend, first day at camp etc.

Lesson #2: Be Tactful - Have tact! See the positive instead of focusing on the negative. Teach your children the ability to be honest but to use words that don’t hurt the other person’s feeling. By emphasizing the positive you can provide tactfully honest answers that don not upset anyone. Game Challenge: Play the ‘Do You Have Tact’ game. Challenge your family to draw a self-portrait in five minutes. Then everyone has to give one nice compliment about the drawing. Emphasize the importance of making other’s feel good.

Lesson #3: Walk the Walk – Stand tall and straight to look confident. How many times do you see your children slouching?  Practice good posture on a daily basis. Game Challenge: The Great Balancing Act. Walk across the room balancing a book on your head. Stand up straight with your head held high and shoulders back. Who can walk the farthest and straightest with the book? Emphasize the difference how they look slouching versus standing tall.

Lesson #4: Acknowledge the presence of another person – Begin with the basics hello, eye contact and shaking someone’s hand. Eye contact shows respect, interest, care and that you appreciate what is being said. Always stand tall and straight and reach out your hand and give a firm shake to adults. And please put away the technology when someone enters a room! Game Challenge: Ask your child to shake someone’s hand today. Use great eye contact and a quick but firm hand shake.

Lesson #5 – Learn how to answer and use the phone etiquette – According to one AT&T store, most kids today write texts instead of using the good old fashioned phone.  Simple phone skills are becoming a lost art. Answer the phone with proper greetings and politely hand over the phone. Always take good message. And identify yourself and call during appropriate times when making a call. Game Challenge: Create a ‘cheat sheet’ for your child on telephone reminders -how to call, answer, respond, take a message, handle a wrong number and ending a call.  Then have them practice by calling a friend or a family member.

Lesson #6: Be a gracious host or guest. The best way to have fun at playdates and parties is to learn how to be a good host and guest. A host makes people feel welcome and comfortable. A guest should be respectful and follow the rules. Game Challenge: Make a list with your child on ways to be a gracious host or guest. Have them invite a friend and practice being a gracious host.

Lesson #7 – Take the time to write a thoughtful thank you note. A little note can make such a difference. The purpose of a note is to let a person know how much his or her generosity and kindness are appreciated. Game Challenge: Ask your child to write a thank you note to a coach, a teacher, friend, family member etc. Too often we only write thank you notes for a gift – why not go above and beyond.

Lesson #8 – Commitment is a promise that you must follow through. Commitment means doing what needs to be done regardless of your talents or your mood. Even if you are sad, mad, tired or if something better comes along you still need to follow through on a commitment. Game Challenge: Come up with a family commitment slogan (For example: Finish what your started. Winners never quit. If at first you don’t succeed, try again etc.)

Lesson #9 – The meaning of character! Character is made up our values and our decisions. It is who we are when no one is looking. Game Challenge: Encourage your child to come up with some examples how they can act with great character.

Lesson #10 – Practice good sportsmanship – Good sportsmanship is when teammates, opponents, coaches, and officials treat each other with respect.  Game Challenge: Challenge your child to display great sportsmanship at his or her next game. Make a point to discuss what he did or could have done after his game.

Will you still shudder at the thought of how your kids behave when you’re not watching? Probably. But one lesson at a time will help lead them to the path of confidence, life-long happiness and success? For more ideas on manner and social skill lessons and challenges, please visit www.thesmartplaybook.com.  


Suzanne Wind

Mom with a Mission
Author of The SMART Playbook – Game-changing life skills for a modern world.